Tag: inspiration

Screenwriting & Filmmaking: Two Film Ideas – a place where everyone lives to 100 & a guy who loses his manhood

Posted by J Roland Kelly – February 10, 2009

old-people-givingthefinger

If anyone needs ideas, here are two that I will never use.

First, in true reality, there’s this town in Ecuador close to Peru called Loja where an abnormal amount of people live past 100 years of age.

I know a girl whose grandmother is from Loja and I bought ice cream for her 94th birthday; she’s still going strong.

But no one knows why. What is it about this town? Is it the mountain air, diet & healthy living, maybe it’s aliens (good or bad), maybe just the CIA?

It could start as a romantic comedy and then go aliens.

If you figure it out, let me know.

The other idea, and this is so obvious that it has to have been done already, but I can’t think of a example…

A guy… a normal guy… and then out of nowhere he loses his penis… an accident… I don’t know…

So what happens to the guy?

Does he become a serial killer? Is he able to push through it? Is he middle aged, and doesn’t like to fcuk his wife anyway?

It could be a heart-warming story about a guy who shows us all that life is magical and can endure anything.

Or he could kill every swinging dick in his apartment complex.

Maybe, he kills women because he can’t find any release, or maybe he finds the healthy relationship with a woman that he always needed.

I promise you this, every single guy has thought about this. If you add a female character, as in the partner then you have story that applies to every single person on this planet.

That’s one hell of a built in audience.

Just think of me when that beautiful bank teller is staring you down.

-J Roland Kelly

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Storytelling & Screenwriting Inspiration: Quito, Ecuador Legend About the Church La Merced

Posted by J Roland Kelly – August 30, 2008

The Church La Merced in Quito

The Church La Merced in Quito

Here’s the way I heard it: the church was built between 1700 and 1742. The tower is the highest in colonial Quito and contains the largest church bell.

After construction, every bit of the building was blessed by priests except the 47m high tower, which as the story goes was quickly taken over by everyone’s best amigo El Diablo.

Also according to legend, the only one strong enough to resist the aforementioned Diablo in the tower was an African-Ecuadorian bell-ringer named Ceferino.

After Ceferino died in 1810, no one would climb the tower, and so the clock stopped and the bell remains un-rung.

Let me just restate this: the largest church bell in Quito has remained hanging in a 47m high tower for the last 200 years without human intervention; okay continuing…

The clock stopped at 6:50. I’ve been asking around trying to see if this is a special time.

El Diablo time. 6:50. Drink a beer.

No clear answer, but that’s 6:50 Eastern Standard Time in the U.S. (not accounting for daylight savings time) if you want to have that beer.

No daylight savings time in Ecuador, by the way people, because it’s on the equator.

I  know that sometime in middle of some night, that bell will ring, the city will gather around the tower, and a large drunken gringo in a red satin devil costume holding a heavy mallet will stagger out, just purely in terms of statistics I mean.

“NO HABLA ESPANOL, POLICIA. I’M THE DEVIL!” Stumble. Vomit. Handcuffs. Ticket home.

Maybe that gringo will be you. Maybe it will be me.

I’ve not found a devil costume, but if anyone needs a pope outfit shoot me an email.

-J Roland Kelly

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Screenwriting & Filmmaking: Screenplay Inspiration Is Where You Find It

Posted by J Roland Kelly – July 9, 2008

Read the local paper. Take a walk. But read the local paper. Check out this story from my current town of residence Mountain View, CA.

No car, no recourse ?Vacationer returns to find his car towed, auctioned and up for sale on Craigslist — by a tow company employee

Seeing this story makes me remember how much I despise tow truck drivers. Full disclosure. They’re dirty carnies.

I think getting a car towed is something that we all have in common. It’s happened to all of us, or one of our close friends. It seems to happen at the worst time.

It’s not something you can really protect yourself from because cars never get towed when they are blatantly parked illegally; it’s only on some trumped-up charge, and it’s the kind of thing that will burn in the back of our minds forever.

That’s a perfect audience for a story.

And yes, I had my car towed a couple of weeks ago. It cost $400 to get it back, and it was a hassle.

The car was stolen by the City of Mountain View when it was parked on the public street in front of my apartment for more than three days.

There is some code against this (22-1651-O). I’ve read it. It’s so badly written, every car in Mountain View, just in terms of math, breaks this law.

Someone should take Mountain View to court.

I bike commute during the week, so yeah it was parked. The real reason my car was “towed” was that some neighbor wanted my spot.

I regret that apartment complexes have worked out deals with towing companies to tow away the cars of friends that are visiting (also, happened to me) and that municipal governments have given letters of marque to these pirates to profit-share in the bounty.

There’s no semblance of legality about this.

So, what’s the story with these tow truck drivers? I think everyone wants to know.

I don’t think I’m the only person that would put a documentary about this on their netflix list, and certainly I would chuckle if some big-screen serial killer turned out to be tow truck driver.

To the gentleman in the news story: I’m sorry your car got stolen by carnival folk, but If it makes you feel any better I will buy the exclusive rights to your story for like $10. 

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